Take everything in those last posts, and throw them out the window.
I have to start over at 21.

Update:

I'm living with a boy, how wierd is that?
I love it. We have a beautiful townhouse that feels like a home.
We have a Ginger and soon another boxer.
And I have the "Creator of like, everything and stuff" (to quote Tarci.) backing me up.

Believe it or not, it's still all uphill from here. I can't wait.

Currently Listening Electra 2000 By Hum Stars see related

    I usually try to refrain from being too personal on xanga, but sometimes it just can't be helped. Maybe it won't hit you like it did me; maybe it will.

And you should totally take the time to read all of this, not just look at the pictures, it would mean a lot.

    I try not to publicly complain (rant yes, but there's a difference), but as I said today sucked. I've been relatively down lately, and it just seemed to peak off today and I couldn't get myself back up.

    This weekend my family went to Kings Island and I didn't get to go because of work. When my mom called yesterday she said that my little brother won me a stuffed bear, which was only the most adorable thing ever, mainly because he's all tough and usually hates me. Haha.

   
    When they came in tonight he ran through the door to give it to me, he was soooo excited because he tried and tried and tried and finally won it with his money. I guess he insisted on that particular bear. When my mom asked him why he had to have that one he had this to say:

        "Sissy always has that black and white dog on her bed, and I know it makes her sad. Now she can sleep with this instead."

    Now, allow me to make that make sense. When Tony and I were first friends he bought me this stuffed black and white dog as an inside joke, and it's remained in my bed with me every night since; for over two years now. I still keep that dog on my bed, because I'm a sentimental fool. 

    I guess what made this entire thing so wonderful to me is the fact that this little 10 year old thought in his heart to try and make me feel better. He put forth the gesture of spending his money (and when you're 10, 5 bucks is a huge deal) to get me a bear to sleep with. Maybe it's just me, but having that love from him is so wonderful. That little kid, with his wonderful little kid hugs and arms that are too skinny and barely reach around you, that same little kid that can get on your last nerve, that little kid loves me no matter what I've done wrong... and that little boy right there is one of the reasons everyday gets better.

 So I digress
So I relapse
So I let it get to me.
So sue me.

I've always been a big fan of getting people to think, to question what they say, and maybe even alter any unneeded retarded thoughts that they may or may not have. I've reached the conclusion that beauty is twisted around to define arrogant and self-absorbed. It's an extremely common misconception that arrogance is attractive, and having the mind set of superiority over everyone else is a form of 'awesomeness'. In saying such I would like to point out the beauty and overall greatness can not be achieved by having only one of many factors, but instead the said goal of 'awesomeness' is reached thru many distinct qualities. Many of these qualities are simply a personal preference, but many of them can be widely agreed upon.

Almost all of these beautiful people don't realize that self-proclaimed beauty is nothing. Telling everyone how awesome, and intelligent you are, doesn't make you such. And cutting someone who is genuine down, doesn't make you superior. Call me stereo-typical if you must (no really, it's fine) but for those few it's a fight to be on top, always. Now, I'm not saying that we all shouldn't try to do our best, but there is a difference. In a fight to convince everyone of your greatness, you lose everything that you could be. Because instead of actually having those said qualities, you're focusing on faking it enough to convince everyone how you are. In theory; when beauty, greatness, and intelligence are announced, they are also feigned.

SO PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
If you have at any time felt the need to tell everyone how great/awesome/beautiful/intelligent you are, please go sit down. While remaining seated I ask that you please consider what point in your life all of your self esteem left you, and you begin to lie to yourself & the public. Okay, got the moment? Go fix it.

The End.